Cancer

Cancer seems to be a staple in my family; most of my family members that have passed have died from some form of cancer. The worst part is that until recently, I smoked and my siblings are smokers. I know it is stupid and I faced that demon, but I did quit after 29 years.

Well, where I was going with this, is that I lost my mother in 2005 to small cell lung cancer. In 2001 I lost my first husband and I had decided to buy a house because I wanted get out of the neighborhood that we lived in. It was getting pretty bad. My mother had owned a double house and I lived upstairs from her for 12 years. It was great for her, and my girls, because Grandma lived downstairs and they had a very close relationship with her.

Well I had asked her, “Ma why don’t you get rid of this place, and the headaches?” It was starting to fall apart and I asked her to come live with me and the girls. I did not want her to be in that neighborhood alone with all the responsibility of the house, and trying to find a decent tenant to move in.

I did talk her into it and, well, a lot of things happened between September of 2001 when we moved in and that horrific day in June of 2002 when they diagnosed her with terminal cancer. My heart had sunk into my stomach and it was like everything stopped. I could only hear faint voices talking but couldn’t make out what was being said.

They gave her less than 6 months to live, but if she wanted to try out some things, they told her they might be able to extend her time some. We were all horrified and she was of course scared to death. I remember holding her hand on the way home and we never said a word. We got in the house and she broke and started to cry. I held her and told her that I wanted her to fight with everything she had and to only worry about herself. I would take care of the rest and I would be her strength.

Well let me tell you it was hard always being the strong one. But I held it together the best I could for her and everyone else and we started the fight. When I think back on all that she went through in that time, she was an amazing strength.

They tried her on so many different medications and the tumors would get smart after awhile. One would show up in another location and they would change her chemo to attack the next one and the next one, it was unbelievable.
Well in January of 2005 they found a pinhead size tumor on her liver and it just took over. She passed on April 15th 2005.

My mother and I were very close and the day that she died was probably the saddest day of my life, but at the same point what I had witnessed was amazing. I will explain that when I talk about Home Hospice.